Change. A little word that can bring about big feelings. Change and I have a complicated relationship… sometimes I have warm feelings about it, but typically I like to avoid it like the plague, and sooner or later it always catches up to me. My issues with change started when I noticed my babies were growing up a bit too quickly for my liking. One day they were tiny little pudgy potatoes cooing and eating their toes on my bed, and the next day they were running through the hallways, asking for snacks and being too big to hold and rock in my arms.
That’s when I realized how heart wrenching change could be. But also how grateful I could feel for it in the same breath. I mean, they are, afterall, growing and healthy, and really such amazing little souls that I am grateful for the change, but it also still stings. That’s where change is tricky. We don’t necessarily welcome it’s presence, but we also cling to it’s truth with two thankful hands and an open, (sometimes aching) heart.
Now I see not only the truth that resides within change, but also the significance in it’s offerings. Progress, movement, trust, and faith. All companions of change, and elements that tell us, we are not in control, so we must trust the One who is. There will be tough moments, there always are when things are shifting, growing, pushing us outside of what is comfortable. But there is always rejoicing in that space as well. New victories, new opportunities to do the next right thing in faith.
It’s like the time we said yes to moving into our home we are in now, the one we love so much. It felt like I had my heels dug into the ground, my fists clenched tight, and my eyes closed, but was being pushed toward the open front door of this double wide. And then this home became our sacred space. A little farm we have nurtured, and one that has nurtured us all right back. Accepting change is like that, it’s allowing the transition to happen, even if we are still reluctant, scared, anxious even. Because I didn’t turn around… I entered through the door, and allowed it to become our home. I accepted the change as necessary, albeit frightening because I didn’t know what to expect, and at the same time I had a glimmer of peace in my heart that this was what God wanted for our family. And you know what, that glimmer grew and grew into a sparkling disco ball of hope and trust the God provided and cultivated.
So here we are, one foot into a new reality, and one still in our present. Prayers upon prayers for peace as we embark upon a new adventure and accept the change we knew was meant to be ours, with open, grateful hands.
I’ll be sharing more on what this change is exactly, here on the blog first, in the coming days…